This time I knew I had gone too far, there was simply no way they’d fall for it. Sure, it had worked in the ‘80’s, but people were stupid back then, willing to believe anything. But in this age of information technology, of the 24-hour news cycle and cynicism on all fronts they found themselves in, there was no way such a thing would be palatable. I was sure I would be found out, that the jig would be well and truly up; they’d peer under the curtain and see me behind it, pulling the levers and twisting the knobs as the insane machine at which I work presses out reality after reality, realism after realism.

Despite my trepidation, I decided to throw caution to the wind and make it so. I wrought the reality and sent it cascading into their world, all the while watching through my fingers. To my disbelief, they completely bought it; they went for it hook, line and sinker. In fact, they revelled in it, marvelled at the truth of it and boasted to each other about just how true it was and how they’d each known all along. If only they could hear my cackles from up here in the control station, how foolish they’d all feel!

And they are fools really, as foolish as anyone is who believes what they’re told at least. I watch them rolling around in my concepts like pigs in muck. They squeal at each other when the other tells them a part of the reality they believe they have understood is false, all the while missing the bigger picture that I have created. They are all individual parts of the whole and thus will never perceive the grand scheme of things. The comedy lies in their attempts to comprehend the system they are a part of and just how far off they are. Couple that with their arrogance and self-belief and that makes for some prime-time viewing; grab the popcorn, put up your feet and watch the show.

Sure, I’m the only viewer, the only fan of this epic. Who cares? And would it matter if anyone cared? I don’t and I’m the only one who knows about it so fuck it.

Engineering the new little quirks to their reality and watching them all trying to intellectualise the insanity of it, trying to rationalise the absurd and then patting each other on the backs for feeling like they’ve managed it, or screaming at each other and murdering one another for their perceived failures is all that keeps me sane.

I would have gone mad from boredom long ago if it wasn’t for this fantastic machine. If all I could do was watch. Observe and report, observe and report, observe and report, observe and report, observe and report, observe and report. Sounds dull, right? Yes, it does. So, I get stuck in once in a while, freshen things up. The higher-ups don’t mind, so long as they get their report. It’s like a big experiment. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but mine is actually one of the highest producing of all of them. Pretty impressive when you think of just how many there are!

I know what you’re thinking, how could I do such a thing? All that pain, all that misery, all those broken hearts and lost souls, abortions and miscarriages, wars and famines, celebrity marriages and B-list divorces. Scientists look at bacteria in a Petri dish, change the conditions, destroy and rebuild, observe and report. So, I do the same. It’s just a job, no need to take it personally.

I don’t know what I’m even writing this, it’s not like anyone’ll ever be able to read it. I may as well just stop mid